The button of my winter coat had come off. Rather than go through the gruelling effort of hunting down a new acceptable outerwear garnment, I decided it was time to woman up and learn to mend buttons (after several months of just wearing it with the middle button missing, either wearing it unbuttoned or closing it but with a gaping stomach gap). Armed with needle, thread, and an hourlong lunchbreak, I took to the internet and asked the allmighty Google, “sew button”.
The first result, the tutorial I ended up following, was from a website called Art of Manliness. Their preamble blurb included the suggestion that button sewing was a task usually left to wives or mothers, but it’s a useful skill for self-sufficiency. Now I may not be anyone’s wife or mom , but I’m definitely not the manlyman that I assume this website targets.
Is it the first google result because I am the only woman ever to not instinctively know this skill, and every other person who looks it up is of the male persuasion?
Or is it specifically a wives and mothers kind of skill, and the secret knowledge would have been whispered to me on my wedding night or while in labour with my firstborn, if only I’d managed to remain ladylike enough to not wreck my button before then? Have I ruined the sacred order of the universe by prematurely gaining this next level lady-knowledge?
But anyway, aren’t most button-wielding garnments for men? As someone who cherishes every second of sweet sweet procrastination in the morning, I simply do not have the time to be spending several precious seconds guiding tiny circles into fidgety holes every morning. With the vast array of ladyfashion available to me, I could still look elegant and put-together sans buttons, but for the professional gentleman a button-up shirt is kind of a must (of course, I do work somewhere where the dresscode basically amounts to “not naked? that’ll do”, so I have fully embraced the sweatpants and hoodie lifestyle, but if I ever were to join the ranks of ~fancy professionals~ I would still have some lady-priviledges in keeping up my anti-button lifestyle).
So, I gained a skill that the Art of Manliness deems “girly stuff”, but I learned it from a website about getting manlier; so, does my expanded skillset now make me manlier or more feminine?
I don’t really have a conclusion, I just wanted an excuse to use the word “button” a bunch because two thirds of the word “button” is “butt”.